Women Shouldn't Hate On One Another

There is a model I like. Her name is Doris Mayday. She’s not famous in the Cindi Crawford is model kind of way, but she is well-known and very recognizable among people who love vintage, Rock-a-Billy, pin-up girls and online clothing retailer Pin-Up Girl Clothing.

I consider myself lucky to have been Facebook friended by Doris. I don’t know Doris personally. I’ve never had coffee with or gone shopping with her, but I do know she takes a beautiful picture. I can also tell by the way she interacts with people online that she is sweet, normal and friendly.

As most people know, when you are on Facebook, it will tell which friends of yours are also logged into Facebook. On numerous occasions I saw that the lovely Ms. Mayday was on line. I never “chatted” her up, though. Assuming she was probably busy updating her page and answering fan mail and comments, and I also thought people probably bug her all the time. Most importantly, I didn’t want her to think I was some kind of whack-a-loo stalker and delete me from her friend’s list. Recently one night I was up late doing homework and she was on. I thought, “What the heck, I’m just going to say hi, and then leave her alone."

Me: I just wanted to say hello to the prettiest girl I have ever seen. I’m not a stalker or anything. I just wanted to tell you that.

Doris: Aww thanks that’s so nice to hear.

Me: I’m sure people tell you that all the time.

Doris: You would be surprised. My biggest haters are always other women.

Women are often quite cutting and cruel to one another.  A woman will make a mean or cutting remark about another woman just because she’s thinner, or younger, or taller, or has a cuter boyfriend, or more money.  What is this innocent, attractive woman called for the crime of being in the vicinity of women with low self-esteem? I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with itch.

Seriously ladies, don’t we have a hard enough time keeping up our self-esteem as we are bombarded with messages all day long that we aren’t good enough? That we are too tall or too short, that we should be a size 0, that we must have perfect bodies and air brushed skin. Do we not worry enough about every tiny flaw we have, real or imagined? Do we really need to take each other down? Does it really make us feel better to mutter snide comments under our breath? If we are honest with ourselves, the answer is a resounding no.

Most of us aren’t six –foot tall and 98 pounds. All the diets in the world and wishing aren’t going to change that. We also don’t have access to make- up artists, world-renowned hairstylists and photographers with an army of post production graphic artists to air brush our every flaw away. The first things we need to do are accept and love ourselves. Once we start feeling better about who we are we will stop focusing on who we aren’t. Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing fat arms, flabby bellies, eyes that are too wide set, try to look at yourself as if you were looking at someone else. See yourself in a new light. Marvel at your high cheekbones. Take notice of smooth clear skin. Maybe you have the cutest knees, ever! Every woman has just as many things as she can be proud of as she does that make her want to cover up every inch of herself.

Instead of focusing on the negative draw attention to the positive. Have a teeny little waist? Tuck in your shirt. Put a belt on your dress. Lovely shoulders? Wear a halter neck dress or top. Amazing legs? Wear shorts and or an above the knee dress or skirt. Adorable earlobes? Pull your hair up and put on some chandelier earrings. Beautiful eyes? Frame them in dark mascara. Perfectly polished tootsies? Wear peep toe shoes.

The easiest and most inexpensive way to look your best is to get a healthy dose of self confidence. Look in the mirror and repeat after me, “I am an intelligent attractive woman. I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished. I have (fill in the blank here with something nice about yourself). Watch out, world, because here I come!"

And when you pass that tall leggy blonde on your way into Starbucks, compliment her. See if her surprise and smile don’t make you feel better too.